It’s so cliché I almost don’t want it to be real. I have a crush on a guy in my pilates class.

Yesterday was my first time ever doing pilates. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, strolling in because I missed my morning yoga class.

I grabbed this circle pressure thing which was to be a torture device of incalculable proportions over the next hour (I maintain mine was defective and wouldn’t squeeze as easily as the others — that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), sit on my mat to stretch and in walks this really handsome guy. Attraction was immediate. He was a few mats down from me and I couldn’t stop looking over. It made me self conscious for the entire class. I felt like I was back in middle school sitting next to the pretty, popular girl I had a faux crush on and being hyper-sensitive of my every action and word. Add to that doing happy baby rolls on your back and I’d have just like to shoot myself right there.

Fifteen minutes in and the class was kicking my ass. Already I would have been embarrassed enough just being the weakest link in the class, but added to wanting to impress this guy I don’t even know…I’m surprised I was able to crunch that pressure circle at all.

So you’re probably wondering how this ended. We definitely traded glances throughout the class. When the hour of pain came to a close, I slowly rolled up my mat, imagining scenarios where we’d start talking and then conversation would lead to the locker room and elsewhere…

But I’m debilitatingly shy around someone I’m attracted to. And I am too scared to make the first move, offer the first word for fear or rejection and a knock to my self-esteem. We are both standing at the mat drop off. I’m lingering longer than I need to. Silence.

So I’m stuck! As soon as the class ended I’m wondering if I should go back next week to endure the beating once again just for another chance encounter. At very least if I don’t have him, I’ll have a damn toned body.

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